Bleach badonkydonk
by facelessgunslinger
Summary: Ichigo is fed up with all the teasing and decides to get revenge! Don't own Bleach or Trace adkins! Ichi/yoru/nel/matsu


Just an idea I just came up with. Don't own Bleach or trace adkins or this song.

Asihfihaiuhsdfiuhd;fuh;auhuhg;iuhg

If one was to look inside the window of the shihouin residence this very day, they would see one of the biggest, loudest parties that soul society had seen in a long, long time. They would also see the one and only Ichigo Kurosaki sitting on the homemade bar placed in the house looking **very **frustrated.

Apparently, Yoruichi had taken teasing the teenage soul reaper to new heights. She decided to tell almost every woman in soul society how fun it was to sexually torment him... And now everyone was doing it! He couldn't even finish one drink without someone like matsumoto or, hell, even Neliel getting a good laugh at making him blush. He glanced at the stage on the front of the dace hall, seeing Renji singing a romantic song to rukia. A thousand different thoughts of revenge ran through his mind in the span of a second, he suddenly blushed. He didn't have enough _courage_ to do the current idea he had in his head. He sighed. Turning back to the bar, he ordered the strongest shot of whiskey they had. He downed a shot. It almost knocked him on his ass, but he ordered another.

_Five minutes later..._

He grinned as he explained his idea to a couple of hot drunk chicks. They giggled and agreed to the insane idea, and ichigo and his girls disappeared behind the stage curtain.

_Half an hour later..._

The crowd had not dimmed in the slightest, no one seemed to miss the carrottop teenager. Suddenly, the curtain of the stage opened unannounced. Four women walked out of the sides of the floor as music started playing. A man slowly walked out the very back in black jeans, black boots with spurs, a black trench-coat, and under that was a black low-cut shirt that showed rock-hard muscles. The mysterious man tilted his head up slightly to reveal silver sunglasses under a black cowboy hat. He made it to the microphone as the women eyed him lustfully, and started singing.

_  
Turn it up some  
Alright boys, this is her favorite song  
You know that right  
So, if we play it good and loud  
She might get up and dance again  
Ooh, she put her beer down  
Here she comes  
Here she comes  
Left, left, left, right, left  
Whoo_

The man gripped the microphone with on hand and belted the first lines of the song out like the devil himself, hypnotizing the female part of the audience, while the dancers handled the male half.

_  
Husslers shootin' eightball  
Throwin' darts at the wall  
Feelin' damn near 10 ft. tall  
Here she comes, Lord help us all  
Ol' T.W.'s girlfriend done slapped him outta his chair  
Poor ole boy, it ain't his fault  
It's so hard not to stare  
At that honky tonk badonkadonk  
Keepin' perfect rhythm  
Make ya wanna swing along  
Got it goin' on  
Like Donkey Kong  
And whoo-wee  
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma  
There outta be a law  
Get the Sheriff on the phone  
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on  
That honky tonk badonkadonk  
(Aww son)_

Rukia glared at the dancers as Renji drooled at the seductive way they danced. Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore and whacked him.

_  
Now Honey, you can't blame her  
For what her mama gave her  
It ain't right to hate her  
For workin' that money-maker  
Band shuts down at two  
But we're hangin' out till three  
We hate to see her go  
But love to watch her leave  
With that honky tonk badonkadonk  
Keepin' perfect rhythm  
Make ya wanna swing along  
Got it goin' on  
Like Donkey Kong  
And whoo-wee  
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma  
There outta be a lawGet the Sheriff on the phone  
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on  
With that honky tonk badonkadonk  
(Ooh, that's what I'm talkin' bout right there, honey)_

As the song hit it's climax, the sexy singer grinned from ear to ear before removing his hat, exposing an unruly mop of orange hair; his sunglasses slid to the bridge of his nose, letting two brown eves shine through the lenses. Of all the people in the crowd, Yoruichi was the most surprised. And If she was honest with herself, a little horny.

_We don't care bout the drinkin'  
Barely listen to the band  
Our hands, they start a shakin'  
When she gets the urge to dance  
Drivin' everybody crazy  
You think you fell in love  
Boys, you better keep your distance  
You can look but you can't touch  
That honkey tonk badonkadonk  
Keepin' perfect rhythm  
Make ya wanna swing along  
Got it goin' on  
Like Donkey Kong  
And whoo-wee  
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma  
There outta be a law  
Get the Sheriff on the phone  
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on  
That honky tonk badonkadonk_

Over the last part of the song, many women had jumped up on the stage and started rubbing themselves on Ichigo while they danced (-cough- Matsumoto! -cough- Neliel! -cough-)

_That honky tonk badonkadonk  
Yeah, that honky tonk badonkadonk_

(That's it, right there boys, that's why we do what we do  
It ain't for the money, it ain't for the glory, it ain't for the free whiskey  
It's for the badonkadonk)  
  
If one were to look in the window of the Shihouin residence, they would see one of the biggest, loudest parties soul society has seen in a long, long time.

If they would look in the _bedroom_ window of Yoruichi's room, they would see her, Neliel, and Matsumoto approaching a naked Ichigo with lust written clearly on their faces. Ichigo was grinning.


End file.
